The same woman who has an abortion is the same woman who has a child …
just at a different time in her life.
When a woman becomes pregnant, she is posed with a question. She must decide whether or not she is ready to bring new life into the world. It is one of the most monumental moments in a woman’s life and a decision that brings together her past, her present and her future dreams.
For many women, the answer is crystal clear: No, it is not time. Or yes, she is ready to become a mother. For others, the answer is far less certain. There are many questions that must be answered, many emotions that must be explored. Ultimately, the choice should come from a loving heart and a clear head. You know your life situation best and will make the decision that is not only best for yourself but for those who already depend on you.
If you are pregnant and unsure of your path, we encourage you to involve someone – a relative, partner, friend, religious advisor, a physician or someone you trust to talk about the options in front of you. In addition, there are many helpful tools available to help you work through the decision-making process, including Northland’s Head and Heart Counseling, an unbiased, free pregnancy counseling service offered exclusively by Northland Family Planning.
Making a choice about your pregnancy can be a gift of learning and growth. "It is an invitation for you to develop a larger vision of yourself. It’s a way to practice compassion and loving kindness toward yourself.” (from “Abortion: Finding Your Own Truth” by Corrintha Rebecca Bennett, Religious Coalition for Reproductive Choice)
Northland’s Head and Heart Counseling
Here, we treat mind, body and spirit.
Good women often face tough, life-changing decisions. Yet, strength and courage can be found in the search for an answer. While the decision in front of you now is difficult, in the end, you can be proud that you took the time and responsibility to thoroughly consider your options. Please take a moment to view our very special video, Every Day, Good Women Choose Abortion.
Northland is nationally recognized as one of the nation’s pioneers in developing “Head and Heart Counseling.” Our counselors have been extensively trained to work with women who are unresolved about their pregnancy decision. Together, we will go through a series of questions and exercises that will help you make a clear choice about this pregnancy. We urge our patients to take the time they need to make a decision that makes sense not only in their head, but in their heart as well.
We promise, we will always offer you helpful information, support and guidance. Our Head and Heart Counseling is a free service for patients of Northland Family Planning Centers. Call us to set up an appointment if this is a service you are interested in.
Abortion is normal, however your personal experience of abortion is unique
While your personal experience of abortion is unique, millions of women have had abortions. And you can take comfort in knowing your feelings about abortion are not unique- every day women are faced with the same choice.
Did you know?
- Over 1/3 of American women will have an abortion by the age of 45.
- Women of all ages, races, economic backgrounds and religious beliefs have abortions.
- Over 1 million abortions occur in the United States each year.
- Abortion is safe, 10 times less risky than childbirth!
Because your abortion decision may be complex, feelings about it may also be complex. These feelings are affected by many factors, including religion, culture, relationships, age and current life situations. One of the most important factors to remember is that each pregnancy stands alone – the particular circumstances of this particular pregnancy are different from any other pregnancy.
What are some tools I can use to help me decide?
If you are having a difficult time deciding what to do, you will probably need to spend time identifying and sorting out your feelings about this experience. When pregnancy occurs, you may feel as if your entire past, present and future are up for examination. So, feelings about abortion may also have a great deal to do with other issues in your life that have not been addressed. Some things that may be helpful to you:
- Write a list of why you want an abortion and why you do not. Some of your reasons will be emotional, some will be more rational. Seeing these reasons on paper often helps you “see” the path towards a more clear decision.
- Write a letter to yourself. If there are people who oppose your decision or if you are worried about regretting it later, take some time now to write about why you would make the choice of abortion and how you feel about ending this pregnancy. Save this to read at a later date if you need to.
- “Pregnant? Need Help? Pregnancy Options Workbook” This great booklet was developed by Margaret Johnston, Director, Southern Tier Women’s Services in Binghamton, NY. Here, you will get help seeing the realistic picture of all your choices–abortion, adoption and parenthood. Included are exercises and rituals which help the decision-making process. This workbook is available, free of charge, at Northland Family Planning Centers or go to Pregnancy Options Workbook.
Women who are willing to explore how they feel and what they think can come to a peaceful resolution about their pregnancy. To get there, you must be willing to work at it. The exercises offered by the counselors at Northland Family Centers or in the workbook above, mean you must do some soul searching and do some “homework.” It may be the most important assignment you ever do.
Listen to your heart and your own voice to find the right answer for you.
Imagine Counseling links you to a series of useful worksheets and connects you to experienced counselors who have worked with abortion patients across the country. $25 introductory fee for an hour session.
Need help talking with your parents? This site has great ideas for both you and your parent or guardian: Mom, Dad, I’m Pregnant.
The Abortion Care Network has compiled an essay about the abortion decision-making process. It’s entitled, “You Are A Good Woman”. Read it and you’ll know that you are not alone… Good Woman (pdf in English) or CLICK HERE for the version in Spanish.
- A Tour of Northland Family Planning
- Every Day, Good Women Choose Abortion
- Why Choose Northland Family Planning Centers?