Deciding whether or not to have an abortion is a topic we will return to again and again. It is important to us that you have all the information you feel you might need to help through the decision-making process. We also want to make sure you know that women feel so many different feelings about the decision. There are as many different responses to making this decision, as there are people who make it. Your experience and feelings are 100% valid and normal.
For most women, as soon as they suspect they might be facing an unplanned pregnancy, the decision is clear. Regardless of what it is—parenthood, abortion, or adoption. Perhaps they have already thought about what they might do, or maybe as soon as they see the ‘positive’ test their gut pulls at them, indicating what their decision is. This is 100% normal. At Northland, the overwhelming majority of our patients knew they were going to have an abortion and feel resolute and comfortable with their choice when they come in to see us. Sometimes, we have patients who will express something along the lines of, “But I don’t feel bad or guilty—I know this is what is best for me. Is that ok? I feel bad that I don’t feel bad.” IT IS 100% OK AND NORMAL AND GOOD TO FEEL NOT GUILTY! The stigma and shame surrounding abortion in society is what is making some patients feel bad for not feeling bad. And to that we say- hell no! You are supported!
For patients who find the decision more difficult to make, there are many resources availableto you to help. Wherever you start, make sure you focus on what your beliefs, values, hopes, and dreams are first—not anyone else’s. Talking with your partner and other friends you trust is good, but in the end it is your decision, and yours alone. Some find that talking with other people might muddy their own thoughts. Keeping a journal can help you re-focus.
If you feel like you are still not sure about your decision, we have so many resources we would love to share with you. Be aware that Googling for information on your own will likely bring up anti-choice and crisis pregnancy centers in your search results. These sites are specifically designed to shame you, scare you, and make you feel guilty and horrible. We warn against going to any clinic or office that advertises “free ultrasounds.” These are crisis pregnancy centers.
If you need more assistance, and feel like talking with someone impartial would help, we can schedule an options counseling session, where you have one-on-one time with one of our trained counselors. We also work with several professional therapists who can assist in your decision-making process.
Call us. We are here for you.